


Elemental Love

by stressedntired



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Avengers - Freeform, Bucky barnes x reader - Freeform, Bucky x You - Freeform, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, He's in denial, Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, PTSD, Plot, Slow Burn, Steve is a great friend, it'll work itself out soon, reader has past relationship issues, reader has prosthetic limbs, reader is an amputee, struggles, you're oblivious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 11:51:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17848916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stressedntired/pseuds/stressedntired
Summary: PLEASE READ! IMPORTANT NOTES TO KNOW!You the reader have been cursed yet blessed with the powers of controlling elements from the scepter back when Loki brought war into New York. Join in the learning of how your powers came about you along with its responsibility of being handled properly and with care. Along the way, a strange feeling comes to you about a particular someone. All you want to do is help out, but even you need a bit of work before you can even think about helping others with things out of your control.This is an AU after Captain America: Civil War where instead of the accords, the Avengers have come to an agreement that they would handle more threats that were beyond government control rather than getting over-involved. It took everything in their reachable power to have Bucky brought back to HQ after what had happened, it was all long nights of realizations and convincing./// I have two little references in this story! One is from my favorite video game Portal and the other is my real life cat! His name is really Loki but I didn't think it would be appropriate with how the reader's life is set :')ENJOY! (Constructive Criticism/Fact Checks/Tips and Tricks are welcomed)





	1. A New Beginning

You were rushing to get yourself together when you heard your father rushing up the stairs, the sound of his feet getting closer and closer as the vibrations traveled further “You almost done, Y/N?” he says out of breath from his workout just to the bathroom door, a small rhythmic knock on its surface followed his question and you sighed out quickly before answering.

“This is what results from asking me to go to one of your work parties. You should know by now that I don’t like being around people who have agendas. I don’t like dinner parties either.” you said with a huff, finally opening the door and stepping out in a floral looking sundress, a wool cardigan over top to keep the warmth “This dress you got me shows my legs too much and I can’t hide them. You know how I feel about that…”

you look down at your exposed legs, the metal shine reflects the light from the bathroom which makes you frown. It had been since New York when the Chitauri invaded earth thanks to none other than Loki. Rubble was falling from the tops of buildings and you had gotten caught underneath the falling cement and unfortunately, you lost your legs from the mid-thigh down. You were trapped under all the debris for hours before anyone had realized that you were there, crying for help as the pain coursed through your system and you could see the aliens racing by on their hovercrafts, explosions in the distance could be heard. You shook the thought away.

“Honey,” he pauses and pulls you into a hug, his arms wrapping strongly around you as he places his chin on the top of your head, you could feel his still decreasing heart rate from his earlier endeavor until it was once again steady. Leaning into the hug you lazily bring your arms up to hug him back, still feeling anxious about going out with your legs exposed “Just stick with me, you know the code. If it gets too unbearable, we’ll get out of there asap.” he reassures you, pulling back and placing a kiss on your forehead before turning on his heel and jogging towards the steps.

“I guess it’s time to get over my fear,” you say taking a deep breath, your eyes closed and you exhale sharply, turning the bathroom light off you make your way downstairs and put on your black flats, an easy match to a yellow and white sundress. Your dad was already outside making his way to the car, a brand spanking new Lexus that his work had reimbursed him for. Mind you, your dad of all people, with as goofy and untameable that his nature is, is an agent for S.H.I.E.L.D. When on the clock, that man can go from family fun, football loving guy, to Mr. I’m Serious in two seconds flat.

Getting into the car you look over to your 2005 VW Blue Beetle, a dent in the side from a hit and run, and some missing paint from a turn that was too tight. It was embarrassing to look at it but you loved that car so much that you wouldn’t know what to do if you ever got rid of it. It’s been through a lot of late night drives across the city whenever you wake up from the demons in your dreams, bad breakups, and even good times too. Like whenever you got to take your best friend wedding dress shopping and when you drove halfway across the country to do so. Good times indeed.

“We ready to go? Last call for anything in the house.” your dad pipes up, pressing the button next to the steering wheel that powered the car on, the screen in the center blinks on, welcoming him back as an automated voice speaks the word ‘Welcome’ in such a futuristic sounding way. Oh how the times have changed and then you have people like Tony Stark who has full on high tech A.I systems that have a comprehensible sense of language, hell it even speaks for itself and can find out more about a person in five seconds than you ever could in 4 years.

“Yeah, I’ve got what I need,” you confirmed, holding up a small purse that would carry the bare essentials for whatever tonight held for you. Were you excited? Maybe, but did you really want to have to go somewhere so late? No.

It was a solid thirty minutes before you were finally at your destination, looking up from your phone you saw a line of people outside of a fancy looking building but once it finally clicked, you rolled down the window and looked up and noticed that it was the one and only Stark Tower. Your jaw dropped as you turn my head quickly towards your dad as he pulls up to the curbside.

“You’re going to have a great time, Y/N, I promise.” He smiles and gets out of the car and you do the same, a nicely dressed valet comes up and takes the key from your father who thanks him and walks up to the front doors, passing up the line that was clearly a block long.

“We’re just going to cut everyone in line?” you ask quietly as you walk right beside him, trying to keep from anyone hearing you and he just chuckles “Yes dear, we are special invited guests.”  
you look back at all the people who probably wouldn’t be getting in, you felt horrible for just walking up as the door guard checks the list and lets you both in without word, he unhooks the velvet chain and the two of you both walk inside and are guided towards an elevator. Once inside, your dad presses a button that starts taking you up to the penthouse and now is when you heart starts sinking into your chest.

“I can feel how tense you are, more than ever before. Do we need to go back? We can if you want just say the word.” he asserted, putting a hand to your back with a concerned expression and you shook my head in response “No I want to stay, it’s about time I try worked through my social anxiety.” you look up at him with a smile and on queue, the elevator opens up to a huge floor full of people dressed in all kinds of formal attire, some even more casual like yourself and still maintaining a professional feel.

Stepping out you both mend your way into the sea of people, most are engaged in conversation. Your dd looks down at you with excitement, his mouth was wide open as he just wheezed out a half laugh, his hand still on you back for reassurance purposes. “I can’t believe I have my own daughter in the Stark Tower!” He says gently under his breath, although it almost looks as if he’s going to squeal like a small child in a toy aisle. That’s the goofy side of him coming out.

“Will you be alright if I go talk to a few people?” He turns to face you completely and it’s this part about him that I appreciate so much. He’s always trying to make your life a little easier even though your twenty-seven years old, have your own small apartment, and have kicked some bad guys ass. You say that, but it was just a robbery, nothing more. Your dad, however, tells it like an old fisherman's story where the fish was a lot bigger than it actually was. Gotta love him, he supports you in every way that he can.

“I’ll be fine dad, I’m going to try and mingle a little bit.” He gives you a thumbs up before walking away to engage in a conversation with a group of people that were off in the corner sitting on a sofa. By the looks of how they were dressed, they were either extremely rich people or coworkers of his. You turn and squeeze your way through the crowd, finally finding an open space by the large windows overlooking New York and all its glory.

As you scanned over the city, you can’t help but think back to when the aliens invaded and how you're standing right underneath where they were coming from. You feel a sharp pain in your head, reaching up your hands you plug your ears to silence the chatter, eyes closed and you take a deep breath while exhaling slowly. Calming the storm before it happens if you had a simple way of explaining it. As you are in deep thought, the vibration sensors in your legs kick off and you hear a more close muffled voice through your plugged ears. Releasing your fingers, your hands fall to your sides, turning to the left you expect to see your father but instead, you are greeted with the face of America. Wait-

“I’m sorry, can you repeat that?” you asked, mind clearly drawing a blank as you just stared off into the eyes of a fossil, someone you never personally thought you would ever meet “I was..I was just-” you made odd hand motions as if it were going to explain what you were just doing but you soon realized that it was pointless.

“Hey, I get it. Sometimes we need a moment.” His voice was so polite and gently, almost soothing enough to put you to sleep instantly if you really wanted to “My name is Steve. Steve Rogers.” he adds with an outstretched hand, you took in within your own and shook it gratefully. Was this a dream? Someone better pinch you because if anyone would have told you a week ago that you would be meeting Captain America, you would laugh and call them a liar because it’s not often that your dad invites you to a party that is also hosted by Tony god damned Stark. Where was your heart now? Your stomach.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Rogers. My name is F/N L/N!” you say with a shake in your tone and you are sure he could feel it in that awful handshake too, but you were hoping he wasn’t going to say anything about it.

“You’re D/N’s daughter aren’t you? We hear a lot about you here at the tower.” His smile is the most beautiful thing you have ever set sights on and once you noticed that you may have been staring too long, you returned your gaze over the city “I get that a lot, though I wasn’t expecting my dad to work with you guys.” you laughed, a hand coming up to brush your hair out of your face and behind your ear “Some stuff has to stay secret so I can’t blame him, though I’m glad to be here.”

“Well, we are all happy to get know a friendly face of the community. If you need anything, let me know.” and with that, he walks away to do the same as you said you would, mingle about, drink something good and have a wonderful evening. Your nerves gave you a bit of slack, it was easier to breathe and you felt genuinely really good after having a small talk with Steve. You were about to head over to the bar for a drink when you noticed an ominous figure already there by themselves, a head of medium length black hair, a strong build, and...a metal arm. You choked on your own spit when you figured out who it was and you quickly went the other direction towards a cooler that had regular old bottled beer in it. Picking one up, you brushed off some of the little bits of ice that stuck to the bottle and once you twisted the cap off you tossed it into the trash before taking a sip of the cold beverage.

If there’s anyone you just wanted to have a solid conversation with, It’d be Bucky Barnes in all honesty. He looks like he always has something to say but decides to stay quiet instead of burdening others with his intrusive thoughts. The only thing keeping you from doing so is his intimidating stature and look, it sent a shiver up your spine just thinking about it.

The rest of the night carried on, it was getting later and your dad was nowhere to be seen so you just settled down on a couch, chatting with whoever decided they were going to talk to or recognize you. You felt better that way than trying to go way out of my way to say something that probably won’t even matter. If anything, people knew you are your father's daughter and if they asked how life was going, you answered everyone the same. Work driven and boring.

You had given up on relationships because what was the point when the other person doesn’t put in the effort to make things happen? Maybe it’s a personal grudge you have on relationships, but you don’t ever want to have one again since it’s just not worth the pain when you have already gone through enough. Some call you selfish in that manner, but you are honestly just saving yourself the gas money for your late night trips when they leave you for someone they’re going to do the same thing too.

“Honey! Y/N!” you snap back to reality when you hear your father for the first time since you had got there and you are only just now realizing that there’s barely anyone here now, just a handful of people who were gathering their bearings before leaving to the elevator. Standing up, you give him a thumbs up as you walk up the stairs leading to where he was at, once you had gotten there, he pulls you into a separate glass room that was designed like a lab, desks, and machines everywhere, paperwork and everything in between was scattered around like a messy lab would be.

“What am I doing up here?” your sentence trails off when you see Tony Stark rounding the corner from behind a holoscreen that had science stuff written all over it. Time for that pinch, please.  
“Uh, I’d say applying.” He says straight forward, smiling when he sees your confused expression, Steve had just walked in now as well, along with four other people that you knew the names of. Thor, Natasha, Sam, and Bucky who was the only other one you had saw earlier. You can feel an odd aura radiating off of him…

“Applying? For what exactly?” you questioned with a raised eyebrow and then it finally hits. You are now looking at your dad whose expression is all giddy while you are left standing here with your arms glued to your sides in shock with what was even going on. Your body had the feeling of how the static on a tv looks. That was how your arms felt and something you also didn’t realize until now was that they all had a view of your legs in this light “Actually don’t answer that-” you raise a hand up and press your lips together in deep thought.

“Your father came to us, Y/N, and we’d like to give you the opportunity to join the team.” states Steve, who was leaning against one of the many island counters that had holovids up with your files spread across them.

“You are a magnificent specimen. One of three people that we know of who were given powers by the scepter.” Tony mentions, giving you instant flashbacks to when you were waking up from surgery.

You had woken up and your father explained everything that had happened very calmly despite how he really wanted to react to all of this. Lifting up the covers to the bed, your eyes widened in horror as you saw what used to be flesh from your mid-thigh down, was now metal. You let out a scream, tears streaming down your face as you ripped the blanket off of your body, heart racing and mind drawing blank. A few doctors had come in and were holding you down so that you wouldn’t risk ripping the IV out of your arm. It took thirty minutes to finally wear you down and your heart rate had dropped almost instantly as you started passing back out after so much movement like that. Dad was the last thing you saw that day.

“I would rather not be reminded of that, Mr. Stark.” your voice quipped, right to the point and it was sharp. “I don’t mean to be rude, it’s just something that even after so many years I have trouble accepting still.” you sheepishly rub the back of your neck and give an awkward smile and he throws his hands up in defense.

“I’m the one who should be sorry, not you.” his hands fall back down to his sides and you saw him take a quick glance at Bucky and your eyes followed where you caught him too, looking at you with curiosity filling his gaze.

“I would, however, love to show you what I can do-” you suggest, removing your purse and cardigan and setting it aside along with the empty beer bottle. Asking everyone in the room to give you space, you take the center of the room as the energy in your body starts to formulate at your will.

Your dad stands there like an excited puppy dog, watching over everyone and yourself as you go to demonstrate your abilities. Taking an extra deep breath, you could feel your arms shaking with all the eyes that were currently fixated on you, even sweat began to build upon your forehead. Rubbing your hands together very fast they catch fire and the whole room broke out it ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’. You laugh to yourself as you keep one hand aflame and the other turns an icy blue, frost starts forming over your fingertips.

“I’m currently a specialist in water and fire elements.” you began, looking around the room to see the awe in everyone’s face “Though I didn't always have both powers-” you added, cupping your two hands together the flame subsides and the frost turns to water which was captured by your hands. Throwing the water up into the air, it's components freeze over and turns to snow which falls gracefully to the ground where it ended up turned back into water "It began with only with fire which I discovered when trying to boil a pot of water. The flames from the stove went wild until I turned it off and I didn't get burned when doing so either."

“My control over water had only come to me a few months ago when I was taking chasing down a thug who stole some stuff from a convenient store. It was raining outside and he had stepped in a puddle. All it took was an outreached hand and the puddle solidified into ice trapping him there." you continued on with explaining the situation and that was not even partial to all that you have experienced thus far. "I’m sure from my files you read that my legs are in fact made of metal alloys that I received from S.H.I.E.L.D and come equipped with a long-fall brace that gives me the option to fall from large heights without sustaining any damage to myself. That and I can run speeds up to thirty miles per hour on a good day.” you inform the ones who didn’t read through your files, which even if you didn’t want S.H.I.E.L.D to have them, you didn’t have an option since your dad works with them.

Your hands are normal again as you look to Tony who is currently still speechless. Nobody else has said a word either, which was concerning yet understandable because you would be too if someone told me they could control ice and fire. Though controlling water and fire is one thing, but you are currently standing in the same room as a god so why were your abilities so interesting?

“You’re in, kid.” Tony puts a hand on your shoulder and pats it, your dad is still containing probably a scream of joy, though he manages to keep his cool for the most part.

“Wait if I’m in am I just going to walk from my home to here every day? I have cat son to take care of ya know?” you mumble the last part, caring very much so for your little boy who has become such a big part of your life.

“Don’t worry about it, we’ll have a team run by your place and pick up all your stuff. We have a room for you at the HQ upstate where everyone else is too. The tower here is being sold off, so this was a farewell party.” he states that like its a recurring thing to sell buildings and have good-bye parties for them, but whatever floats the boat, you are not one to judge.

“So where do I go from here?” you asked, looking back at your dad who walks up to you with a smile, happy that you can finally get off your ass and be a hero like you always said you wanted to be when you were a child.

“I’ll be driving you upstate to the HQ.” your dad says, giving Tony and the rest of the team a nod before grabbing your purse and cardigan handing it to you. You slip on the cardigan and look around the room at everyone, all this information was cluttering your head, moving upstate, people going to your house, you are an Avenger???

“It’s there where we’ll all be able to talk more, Thor, however, has other worldly things to do.” Natasha says, nudging the taller god with her elbow.

“Yes, while I do have other duties, I will be back to work with you soon.” his voice bellows throughout the room, a soft echo follows, which really surprised you since it’s another one of those things you’d never think about hearing in real life. The man is a beefcake with the heart of pure gold, a strong and sturdy stature brought intimidation to his foes, but when he is with friends, Thor is more relaxed.

“I’m glad I fed Gabriel before leaving tonight.” you sigh out as your dad begins to lead you out, Tony gives a short wave as do the rest of the crew. Boy was this one of the most life changing events to ever occur “Wait a minute, I have work in the-”

“No you don’t, already taken care of it for you.” Tony adds quickly, you head cocks to the side but before you know it, you are stuffed into the elevator and the doors close behind you and your dad.

He starts doing a small little happy dance in a circle before wrapping you up into a hug, letting out a suppressed squeal he finally releases you from the death grip and places his hands on your shoulders “Y/N I can’t believe this is happening! You’re an Avenger!” he lets out another cheer and all you can do is laugh in response since seeing him this excited is a rare thing after mom passed.

“Tony seemed just as adamant about it as you are, Christ he called my work and either quit for me or paid them off.” you chuckled to yourself, still taken back by what even just happened. You were always just a side player in the game of heroism, stopping minor inconveniences and stayed under the radar from the regular citizen's eye. So no one other than a few people knew of your powers and it was probably bested that way. Should my powers fall upon the wrong set of ears, who knows what would happen and you are not willing to find out.

Dad had talked your ear off the rest of the way to HQ, once you arrived you let yourself out and closed the door and he rolled down the window to continue talking. “Dad I know you’re excited, I am too as much as the next person, but for right now I think you need to go home and rest.” you gave him a soft smile, leaning forward against the door “You might give yourself a heart attack if you over excite yourself too much.” you joke with him and he laughs out wholeheartedly. The tender moments the two of you share are sacred and mean the entire world to you and you would not trade it for anything.

“Alright, alright. I’ll let you get to it, Honey. I’m so proud.” he reaches over a hand and places it on your own, rubbing a thumb over it gently “I love you, Y/N. I’ll see you soon.”

“I love you too, dad. Thank you for this.” you could feel the tears welling up in your eyes as you back away from the car, he rolls up the window and drives off slowly and you wipe away what was going to be a waterfall if you didn’t get my emotions together. Standing alone outside the Avengers HQ crying would probably look really awkward and weird so you mustered up your feelings for walking into your new home.

“Are you F/N L/N?” spoke a voice that broke the silence, you turn quickly to see who it was and you noticed a badge clipped to the pocket of his suit jacket, upon closer inspection it was the head of security, Happy.

“Uh yeah, that would be me.” you said with a smile and you held out your hand and he returned the gesture, grabbing your hand and giving it a strong shake “Glad to have you here, please follow me this way so I can show you to your floor.” he explained, leading you through the front door of the Avengers HQ. It was stunningly gorgeous inside, well decorated and despite being a base for enhanced individuals it felt homey almost, so you did not worry too much about feeling homesick.

The main lobby was huge, agents were walking around still this late at night, probably the night shift workers, nonetheless, it was impressive and very beautiful to look at. Your eyes wandered all over as Happy showed you a few things before you had entered an elevator that you both three floors up “Your room is here on the third floor, if it’s alright, the floor is shared.” he informs you, looking up from his phone, probably texting Tony that you have arrived safely.

“That’s completely fine with me!” you assured him, stepping off the elevator he points to a door just down the hall to your left “That will be your room, I’d love to show you myself but I have work I need to finish.” he presses a button and the bell rings as the doors begin to close. “Wait who am I sharing the floor with?” you ask quickly out of curiosity and he answered through the small space between the doors “Barnes.”

Your lips pressed together in a straight line, you blink a few times as it sinks in who is staying in the room right next to your own. You head towards the door that leads into your room and a feminine sounding A.I had spoken “Good evening, Y/N and welcome to HQ! I’m F.R.I.D.A.Y, Mr. Starks A.I, I manage the technological side of security and will always be here if you need anything.” she said as you walked up to the door, you let out a small ‘huh’ before turning the knob and entering the room which was reasonably large and had a connecting bathroom to the left of the doorway. It was a little bland looking right now, but once your stuff was to be here, it would look more like your ideal room.

“Thanks a bunch, F.R.I.D.A.Y,” you stroll up to the big floor to ceiling window looking out on the forest that surrounded the back half of the HQ, the stars were shining bright tonight as you look up to the sky, a deep breath took over you “Is it possible to tint the windows?” you ask aloud and within seconds the window was tinted so no one could see in. So she is always listening.

“Anything else I can do for you?” she questions as you walk up to the bed, a pair of sweatpants and a plain black tank top laid there for you since you didn’t have clothes of my own here yet. “I’m all set, for now, thank you again, and good night!” you finish, undressing and putting on the clothing that was left for you and they were a slightly baggy, but comfy fit “Good night, I can’t wait to work with you.” the A.I adds before parting for the rest of the night, though she’ll always be there of course.

You put your flats by the door and close it, then you toss your sundress and cardigan into a hamper that was in the corner of the room before crawling under the covers of the bed. The plush covers felt nice as you yawned out, sleepiness was taking over you as you took one more look outside, seconds had passed and your eyes began closing before you were out like a light. Tomorrow was a new day.


	2. Reassurance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your first day at the HQ starts off a bit overwhelming with a dash of confrontation from Tony and ends with a new beginning for Bucky. What's to come from trying to balance the comfort of others versus yourself? Is there ever a real balance? Can the world really make the change and see Bucky for who he really is? 
> 
> Can you handle the weight?

Upon waking at ten in the morning you sit up with a stretch, a half groan and sigh escaped your mouth as you stood and headed for the door, figuring you could start the day with a little bit of training. You were still in the process of waking up though when you had left the room, eyes still glued shut while you press the button to the elevator, however, you came to your senses when you felt vibrations in the floor getting closer. Looking to the left, you see Bucky coming towards the elevator but you wait a moment before saying anything thanks to nerves “Good morning! Hope you slept well.” you say, giving him another quick glance before adverting your stare elsewhere, not wanting to seem impolite.

“And to you too,” he responds quietly, enough so that you could hear what he was saying. This had been the closest you ever were to Bucky and you felt a weight in your throat when you noticed how close he was to you, it was enough to brush shoulders but he was aware to mind the space between the two of you. It was odd to see him in such a domestic state when all you have ever seen was clips or pictures of him in uniform before and after he was taken by HYDRA. This? This was a whole new ball game.

Once the doors had opened you both stepped in. You were closest to the button panel so you asked what floor he was going to. “Training room, please.” so you press the basement floor button and add with a laugh “Convenient because that’s where I’m going too!” now to you it feels like you are trying too hard to say something to him. Are you though? It’s almost like a nervous butterfly in your stomach kind of feeling but you dismissed it as just having not eaten in a while. Who wouldn’t feel nervous if they shared an elevator with an assassin? It’s not like you despised or hated him, it’s just overwhelming because you have no idea how to talk to someone who came off as unapproachable.

He didn’t say anything back to you as he continued to wait patiently until you had reached your destination, the elevator dings and the doors open up. Like a gentleman, he stands back and lets you leave first which was really kind of him, so you thank him and go about yourself over to a matted spot in the big open room.

You felt horrible for feeling off about being so close to him, he really didn’t want to harm anyone especially with how his past interrupts the flow of his present self. A lot of people in the process forgot who Bucky truly was before his life was stripped away from him and you want so badly to tell him that you’re sorry he went through all of that but it would never change anything. You’re also sure he’s heard enough of that, plus, you would also hate for people to come up to you all the time saying the same sappy apology, so you kept your mouth shut figuring if he wanted his story to be told, he’ll tell it when he wants to.

Bucky was wearing something like you are, a black t-shirt and sweats yet he somehow managed to make it look so good. It was also the very first time you had ever seen most of his arm fully exposed for you to see and it was impressive, to say the least. Much like that of your legs but you, unfortunately, were missing both of them and that could never compare to how he lost his.

In the center of the mat was a dojo dummy that was just waiting to be punched, so as you get into a steady fighting position and threw a few punches to the stomach of the dummy. Aiming to hit the most vital parts of its rubber body, you take occasional breaths in between every other punch, sooner or later you jump up and twist your body to the right so that it brings your left leg up, your foot connecting to the head of the dummy knocking it to the side a little.

You land in a crouching position, taking even breaths to steady yourself “Damn, I’m a little out of practice.” you whisper under your breath after standing up straight and observing the dummy.

“You pull your punches.” Bucky said from not even a few feet behind you, startled, you turn to face him wondering if he had been standing there the whole entire time just watching you “When engaging in hand to hand, you have to make sure that your arms are relaxed, I could tell that you were tense from just a few feet away, should your opponent know or figure that out, it could be a huge disadvantage.” he states, stepping over to fix the dummy so that it faced you straight forward. Afterward, he moves right beside you and brings his arms up into a fighting position looking at you to see if you would catch his drift.

You mirror his motions without another word, deciding to learn from one of the ultimate war heroes of the nation. It never really stuck to you that he was a former Russian operative named the Winter Soldier, used in a little over two dozen assassinations as well as assists in many others. It’s not like he woke up one day and decided he wanted to be a mass assassinator, Bucky was used by an underground terrorist organization called HYDRA. Anyone who keeps up would know that, but then again the people who don’t support Bucky claim that he choose to be who he was and will say whatever they want to hear if it means painting a terrible picture.

You look up at him as he then stares intently at the dummy over his closed fists, extending his arm out slowly “You want to extend your arm out just enough to hit your opponent, never over-extend or else you’ll get countered.” he finishes off the demonstration punch to the dummy, hitting it gently and then stepping back to allow you to try.

Taking a deep breath and focusing your intention towards your rubber enemy, you repeat the action that Bucky had taught you and you look over to him for a sense of approval, though his expression was still blank “That’s a good start, just make sure you don’t pull your fist back before the punch if you want to give who you’re fighting hell.” he adds, reaching out and waving for you to come at him instead. This is real, right?

“Wait you want me to come at you? Are you sure about that?” you ask like an idiot when this man is the most serious person in the building. You swallow hard when you move to face him with your fists up prepared to strike at any given moment and he too was ready with his hands in the air. The aura was getting tense and you felt a knot form in your stomach, but you remembered his tip about being relaxed, so you did what he said.

“I’m positive. Don’t hold back either,” he says, staring at you like a hawk hunting for prey. That alone made you feel even more vulnerable in this situation since he was first off, an army trained veteran, was once an assassin, and had years of experience over you when you’re just a girl from New York who was making a living by working nine to fives, barely paying rent,  and saving lives every chance you could. You had no idea what was in store, but you rolled with the flow throwing the first punch with your left hand and he blocks it by grabbing your fist in his own human hand.

Looking down at your fist that was enclosed by his, your eyes widen with shock and the blood in your system finally started pumping. Adrenaline coursed through your veins as your gaze returns to his own, a very slight smile curled upwards on his lips and you barely noticed it before he also came at you with a punch, but it was directed for your face. Dodging the action barely, you felt the mini gust of wind that was made by his metal arm, your heart rate picked up the pace when you used your free arm to go straight for the gut and he made and very light, but an audible grunt.

“You’re still pulling those punches,” he says while releasing you from his grasp, stepping back he takes another swing at you with his flesh hand but you pivot your body to avoid the attack. “You aren’t physically powerless, you’re small but mobile, use that against your enemy.” he advises and you say nothing but duck when his metal arm follows shortly after. From below, you take two swings for his stomach and he also pivots to miss being hit, standing back up you make a shot for his face but you stop when F.R.I.D.A.Y quipped in.

“Y/N, Mr. Stark would like to see you in the lobby.” your mind was full of white, a sweat bead drops down your forehead as you just stood there with your fist an inch from his face, his eyes focused on your hand before making contact with your own. “Not bad for an amateur. I can see it in your eyes how determined you are to get better.” his voice was still so steady it was unbelievable. He didn’t even break into at least a little sweat which surprised me the most but what can you expect from someone whos been doing this for literal years?

“I’ll be up in a minute, thank you F.R.I.D.A.Y.” you breath out, keeping your sights fixed on Bucky who stretched out his arms and it was then when you knew that he knew you wanted to do this again, but were you willing to admit that? He’s a professional on all levels and training with him would help improve your physical abilities ten fold “So-” you began, wiping the sweat off your forehead you clear my throat, looking off to distract yourself from looking at him for too long because you’d be lying if you said he wasn’t a gorgeous person. There’s that heavy weight in your throat again.

“I come down here every morning, feel free to join me if you want to train some more.” He says with a small smile as he turns around to return to the corner mat in the room where the weights sat. Your mouth parted to say something but you simply watched as he walked away, a blank line ran through your head.

“Sounds good to me, see you around.” you thanked him for the beginner tips and went on your way to the elevator which took you up to the lobby floor. While in the small box, you take a deep breath and put a hand to your forehead, for some reason you had felt really hot. Flustered was the only word you could think about being the root cause but what was there to be flustered about? You remember back to when you saw that smile for the first time while fighting with him, you felt your face get hotter with the thought, though you figured it was nothing.

“There she is, the woman of the week, let’s hear it for our newest recruit.” Tony beamed, only adding onto your flustered look and you could feel yourself getting more and more embarrassed. “Are you sick? F.R.I.D.A.Y run a diagnostic scan would ya?” You snap back from your thoughts when you had heard what Tony had said, unaware of what F.R.I.D.A.Y may discover but it was better left unknown to you.

“Yes, Sir.”

“No, wait!” you put your hands up in defense “I’m just coming from the training room, I’m not sick I promise.” you laugh nervously waving your hands back and forth to assure him that you were fine and didn’t need any sort of medical attention. He gives you a quick look up and down over his sunglasses as if analyzing you with squint “Alright kid, we’ve got all your stuff here including your furry friend. Got a couple of guys to help move your stuff up to your room while you and I head over this way.” he said, putting an arm around your shoulder and leading you towards what would probably be a lab of some sort.

You look behind yourself to see the movers were taking a dresser up as well as boxes of other things of yours which you really didn’t have a lot of “You know I’m not a kid right?” you say with a raised eyebrow and a giggle, you both walk into the room but it’s not a lab but rather a mechanic shop almost. Metal pieces from the Iron Man suits laid about the room on the floor, on tables and anywhere else probably being fixed or maybe this is a peek at a new suit. “Yeah I know, but it’s a habit of mine, I’ll shake it eventually,” he responds, taking off his sunglasses and setting them off to the side on a table.

“So what did you want to see me for? I should probably check on Gabriel since I haven’t seen him in a while, he has separation anxiety so I don’t want to be apart too long.” you mention, pointing a thumb over your shoulder towards the door. Anxiety is real even for animals and you found that out when you adopted Gabriel from a foster home. He was without a mother since he was born and when you first saw him you fell in love, the two of you made a connection almost instantly and it didn’t take you very long before you knew he was coming home with you.

You had noise complaints from your apartment neighbors about him crying all while you were gone at work and once you came home he would always bury into your lap and sit there for hours on end. You’re sure they’re all ecstatic that I’m gone. “It’s no worries I only need you for a moment,” he asserted, walking around a table and pushing on a button bringing up a holovid “To better know you and your abilities, I’d like to do some energy analysis on you. Not only to benefit the team but to help create protocols in case something happens.”

Your eyebrows had furrowed together with a questioning look, your arms cross as you walk up to the countertop reading over what was being shown to you which were minor readings from when you demonstrated your powers the night before “You were already scanning me so why ask now for my consent?” you ask, receiving a huff from the fancily dressed rich man who averted his eyes for a second more “It’s for safety reasons. I know you’re probably a trustworthy person, but I can’t help but constantly look over my shoulder. Old habits die hard I suppose.” he admits, a guilty look is plastered on his face and once again, you’re no person to judge one by their actions or ways of life especially after the trauma they experience in the past and he has seen a lot.

“You’re good, Mr. Stark but all I have to say is be mindful of what you’re missing when you look over that shoulder.” you hop up to sit on the counter bringing a hand up to open up the files that S.H.I.E.L.D has on your past which included your mother’s death. “I know you’ve experienced more loss than a lot of people that I know. Whether it be that your trust was tested and maybe even broken, you still gave someone who took something away from you a chance.” you look down at the floor then over to Tony who caught on to who you had been talking about, his expression was astonished and he looked like he wanted to say something but he let you continue.

“I’m sure it became a second-hand nature to look behind you when you first found out who had taken something precious from you, but you did what most people can’t-” you stop and look at the picture of your mother that was attached to the file on the screen, your eyes full of heartache when you see the current status labeled deceased. “And that’s to realize that it wasn’t up to his dictation and was wiped clear of all control on his body. It hit the general news like a ton of bricks to the face as I’m sure it did for you too.” your voice had become more soft and gentle as you approached your words carefully, not plucking and of the wrong strings.

“I was grief-stricken,” he interrupts, mentioning how he really only his fellow mentor Jarvis when he was younger when his dad was never around. He loved him so much so that he created an A.I with his name because Jarvis was someone Tony could truly rely on, but even then after the attack by Ultron, J.A.R.V.I.S was lost but part of him became something new. The Vision. “It’s never-ending.” he says with a throat clear “How did you do that?” he asks “Get me to open up? Are you playing tricks on me?” He questions while fidgeting around, his stance was clearly becoming tenser.

“After what I’ve seen you go through? I wouldn’t ever do that and you have my word. My word is everything because I never go back on it.” you assure him and he became quiet again, still tense because trust is something you earn and you were willing and patient enough to receive it in due time. “While grief is healthy for a human, too much of it can destroy not only you but everyone around you. Think of it like coals.” he too now has his arms crossed, prepared to listen to whatever you may have to say and it could be taken either really bad or really good and you can only hope that it’s the latter.

“You choose to hold those coals because it reminds you of who to protect yourself from, maybe even to spot an oncoming existential crisis before it even reaches you. You tell yourself you won’t allow anyone to poison your head with false truths and hopes.” you jump down from the counter and walk around it to come face to face with him, you reach a hand up and place it on his shoulder, maintaining reassuring eye contact “I won’t pretend to know what you’re going through as most might, but let me just say this. No one wants to hold someone’s hand if they’re going to get burned by what they’re holding.”

You return your hand to your side and he stood there speechless for a couple of seconds and opened his mouth “I’ll keep that in mind, thank you.” he gives you a smile but you could tell that it was genuine and not forced due to the muscles in his upper face moving with the rest of him. You return the gesture and begin to back out “Just give me a holler if you need to run tests, I’m free practically whenever now.” you laugh as you turn on your heel, leaving the room in silence as Tony was left there to ponder on his thoughts.

“Your heart rate is increasing, Sir.” F.R.I.D.A.Y breaks the quietness finally, Tony just chuckles to himself “We’ve got ourselves a world changer.” he picks his sunglasses up and puts them on and exits as well “Lock up for me?”

“Right away, Mr. Stark.”

The lights dim down and when he exits the room the doors lock behind him and he goes about the rest of his day going to press conferences. His mind still boggled on how a young woman brought to light more of his internal issues than anyone other than Pepper has and he had only officially met you the night before.

You made your way up to your room where the movers were finishing up putting everything together “I appreciate it, thank you guys!” you waved as they all passed by, knowing that they were probably getting paid a hell of a lot just to move barely a truckload of things. You peeked around everything there and closed the door behind you once you saw Gabriel in his cat carrier “There you are my little devil!” you squeal quietly, opening the crate door to let him out, his meowing and little meeps warmed your soul as you sat on the floor allowing him onto your lap.

“Welcome to your new home buddy! Your momma is an Avenger!” you cradle him in your arms as his purring carries through your body, you bring him up to your face and give him a big kiss on the head though he doesn’t seem to mind. “Taking all these kisses like a champ!” you set him down and stand up looking for his food and water dish. You ended up spending the next few hours arranging the room the way you would see it fit, folding clothes and putting them away in the dresser that you had moved under the tv that hung on the wall across from your bed. Once everything was in its place, you take a deep breath and huff out, sitting next to Gabriel who was taking a good ol’ fashion cat nap at the foot of the bed. The clock on the wall indicated that it was three in the afternoon, your stomach rumbled at you since you didn’t eat breakfast “I think food would be nice right about now.”

Slipping on a pair of shoes you leave the room and close the door so Gabriel wouldn’t get out and head down to the second floor that held the kitchen. With every step that brought you closer to the smell of wonderful food, your stomach clenched and you couldn’t physically wait to stuff your face. Rounding the corner you see Natasha clearing off her plate into the trash before placing it into the sink to later be put into the dishwasher “Oh hey, Natasha.” you had called out to her, she turns her head and gives you a smile.

“Well I’ll be, had I known you were going to come down for lunch I would’ve waited to plan the mission.” she said leaning against the island counter, her body supported by her elbows with her chin in her hands “Mission? Where you going?” you ponder, going into the fridge for some lunch meats and lettuce to make make a sub, one of your favorites forms of food to eat.

“Classified.” she was blunt but had a playful ring to her tone, which gained a chuckle out of you, “I see then, you are a secret agent after all.” you add pulling a sub roll out of a bag that was on the counter next to the toaster. “The less you know, the better. For now anyway.”

You had sat down on one of the stools and begin making the sub, you cock your head to the side and give her a funny look “What’s that supposed to mean?” being quite confused as to what she was referring to, you figured she was aiming towards the way of the assassin life or maybe even what goes on here at S.H.I.E.L.D in general. It started to settle in your head that though being an Avenger was a dream come true, it was going to be your duty now and that meant not every little life could be saved along the way.

“You’ll learn soon enough, Y/N. But for now, I have to scoot, duty calls.” she gets up and begins to head out of sight and you continue to finish making the sandwich, putting the ingredients away accordingly. It was silent for the rest of your time eating, all you did was stare blankly at the wall that was across from you but it dawned on you that you hadn’t gotten ahold of your dad yet today. Stuffing the last bit of the sub in your mouth, you place the plate in the sink then head upstairs as fast as the elevator would take you.

Jogging the rest of the way to my bedroom door, you open it up and slip in, Gabriel trots over and rubs against your leg demanding pets “Hello little love,” you reach down to give him a few head pats and then go and grab your phone off the charger noticing that you had not received any notifications from your father. So you decided to send the first message

 

Me:

    Hey dad! The first day at HQ was great! Give me a call when you can?

 

You sent the message and tossed the phone onto the pillow, knowing your dad he was probably tied up with work since he too has a busy schedule. Thus, you take this time to shower, stripping down the sweaty clothes, you jump into the shower and wash up, massaging the shampoo throughout your H/C hair all while relaxing under the warm water. What caused you to get out was a knocking at the door, though luckily you were just finished washing up and rinsing your hair of the conditioner.

“One second!” you call out to whoever it may be at the door, turning off the shower you dry off your body then put on some underwear, shorts, sports bra, and a tank top. Your hair gotten wrapped up in the towel and you opened the door finally “Hey sorry about the wait- Oh! Hey Steve.” you say giving him a smile “What’s up?”

“Just checking in on you and seeing how your first day here was.” he says and you open up the door all the way to let him in, once he was inside you closed the door, Gabriel peeked up from his food bowl once he noticed a new person and he ever so graciously walked up to the man and rolled over on his belly for him. “I think he likes you, hahaha!” leaning over you give his neck scratches and then you sit back down on the bed and revert back to why he was here in the first place “But today was great! Talked with Mr. Stark and Natasha, oh and earlier I trained a little with Bucky!” you added with excitement which surprised Steve and it was slightly concerning “Is...that a bad thing?”

“Oh goodness no, I just wasn’t expecting him to engage with you so quickly. It’s actually good for the growth of his social life since he really hasn’t been since the fifties. It’s been rough for Bucky in these recent months with media pinning every possible death on him.” Steve sighs out, knowing very well that it was going to be a long time before Bucky would ever be allowed out in public alone.

“However, I’m glad to see you’re fitting in Y/N. I look forward to our first mission together.” He backs up to the door and turns the knob “Oh and one more thing I wanted to ask you.” Steve’s voice went from gentle to very serious in seconds flat, you gave him your undivided attention when you heard his tone of voice, not wanting to seem disrespectful “If you could, keep an eye or ear out for Buck during the night? He tends to have night tremors, so if anything, just notify F.R.I.D.A.Y. and if things get out of hand just contact me.”

“Copy that, Steve, I’ll let you know if anything goes down.” you say as he leaves with a good night, the door clicked close and you laid down. Grabbing your phone you check to see if your dad had responded yet and he hadn’t so you gave him a call, but no answer. It was quite unusual for him not to pick up almost immediately when you call so you started to think the worse had come about him. You had to try and tell yourself that he was just working and that he’d call you back when he could just as you asked him. In the back of your head, the gears of unfortunate thoughts were grinding faster than ever and it made you panic.

“Not like mom, not like mom, not like mom…” you repeated over and over to yourself quietly as you lay there in fetal position, eyes snapped closed and it was times like these when Gabriel saves you. You may have adopted him and gave him a home, but when you have anxiety attacks or breakdowns, Gabriel will come up and lay with you while pushing his face to yours almost like he knew what was going on. It made dealing with the pain a lot easier to handle and you’re truly blessed to have him in your life. The tears dried up at the corners of your eyes and without intention, you slipped off into a sleep curled up on the bed around five thirty p.m.

You had woke up around eleven at night, cursing yourself silently for taking nap for this long, though to be fair, you weren’t trying to sleep. You had stopped talking when you had heard something in the room next to yours making grunting noises, the sound of sheets and blankets being tossed around could be heard as well. Getting up and taking the towel off your head, you walk out to the hall and to the door that led to Bucky’s room and knocked on it “Hey Bucky, you alright in there?” you ask aloud, not getting a response rather it was continued sounds of discomfort.

Opening up the door you saw Bucky laying in bed with what seemed like cold sweat, running up to the bed you shake his arm to try to wake him. He must’ve been having a bad dream because he mumbled out something along the lines of ‘I’m not going without you’. “F.R.I.D.A.Y alert Steve that Bucky is having a night tremor!” you called out to her in a panic, still trying to wake him up.

“On it!”

“Bucky wake up! Bucky!” you pull him towards yourself so that he was laying on his back, his face was glistening with sweat and his eyes were snapped shut and he breathed out heavily, chest rising and falling quickly “Come on, I know you’re in there,” you say as you place both hands on his shoulders and give him another shake “Buc-” you let out a yelp when he woke up and instinctively for him, his metal hand came up to grab your arm, throwing me off to the other side of the bed. You land on the floor with a thud, your body had been completely winded as you stare up at the ceiling with a cough.

“Oh my god, Y/N!” he gets up and makes his way around the bed out of breath kneeling down to check on you “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know-” and you place a hand on his chest, still a bit stirred from being thrown so easily “It’s alright, you couldn’t control it.” you sit up against the bed and huff out, Bucky sat there with a sorrowful expression. You probably should’ve been more prepared for something like to happen since not only does he suffer from PTSD but his mind, despite certain speculation, is constantly teeming with combat-ready activity. This man was trained to wake up and fight.

“I can’t believe I just did that.” he said leaning back against the bed on the right of you. Burying his head in his hands, he laced his fingers through his hair and he tightened his grip around them like he wanted to rip it all out. “Listen to me Bucky, you can’t keep blaming yourself for these occurrences,” you spoke, crossing your legs and facing him. You place a hand on his metal arm, guiding his hands down and away from his face so that you could see him properly.

“You are a victim of manipulation and abuse by a terrorist organization who used you to do their dirty work. I’m not an expert but what I can say is that you’re in safe hands now, with one of your greatest friends right by your side to help you overcome the obstacles that still linger in your way.” he gazes into your eyes and you observed their beautiful steel blue color, but even with as beautiful as they are, they retained a distressed feel.

“What about the people? They still see me as a monster who killed innocent lives.” he retorts, looking out the window with that same sorrow filled expression. It almost seemed like he wanted to cry but his body wouldn’t let him, the guilt was pulling him under the water drowning him and it has been for years.

“Who gives a shit.” you said blatantly, your eyebrows knit together and you could feel the blood in your body boil. Today’s day and age are being misguided and misled with false information that’s far from the truth and it’s the ultimate goal to create chaos. “The media has twisted the perception of how people view you because they don’t see the good in what you have done in your life. You are a war hero. A Howling Commando for christ's sake! Giving your life in battle but-” you pause and snap your fingers “Bam, the moment you’re taken hostage, wiped clean of everything you know, and weaponized, the news sucks it up and turns it into something it’s not. Once you do something bad, that’s all they’ll ever see and it’s what makes the system fucked.”

What you didn’t know was that all while you two were sitting there, Steve had been standing in the doorway listening to what you were saying and even he knew that you were right. Bucky wasn’t given a chance to live like a normal human being and was instead forced into hiding. Luckily with a hell of a lot of convincing, he was allowed to come out and live at the Avengers HQ but is under constant watch. “They don’t see you as a person who was victimized, they see you as bait for catastrophe. Once they’ve convinced the public it’s like a loaded gun pointed at your head point blank.” you sighed out relaxing your muscles, not even knowing how tense you had been getting over the subject of the situation.

You shook your head and looked back up at Bucky who was staring at you in complete awe, the sadness that filled his eyes was gone and was replaced with shock and admiration. You also couldn’t help but get a warm feeling in your chest as you continued to stare at each other until you finally looked away. There was no longer a lump in your throat when you were close to him.

“You’re a good man who was used and if the world can’t see that, then we’ll just have to prove it to them that you’re incredible.” you determined, giving him a courageous look of assurance, standing up you lean over a little and reach out a hand to him and he looks up and gives you a gentle smile and a chuckle. Steve finally makes himself known, stepping in to make sure that Bucky was alright to which Bucky responded that he never been better.

He takes your hand and you help him to stand even though he could do it easily by himself but even when you can do things yourselves, knowing someone is there to support and be there for you can be the biggest comfort to have and that’s the first step to something greater.


End file.
